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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

If I were President (revisited)

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

With the Democratic National Convention now upon us and the presidential election only a few weeks away, it is understandable one might ponder the ramifications. What can we expect from president Obama, of 'Commander in Chief' John McCain? For that matter, what if I were president?

A question pondered by many, but one that can only be answered by a select few. What would I do, you ask? Well for starters…

As president of the United States, I’d probably spend much of my time in the White House rose garden, hanging with the gardener. I would undoubtedly seek his advice on a variety of subjects, starting with perennials. I might even appoint him (or her) to the Supreme Court should the opportunity arise. (After all, it almost worked with Harriet Miers).

B. Thomas Cooper

If I were president, I would use my executive powers to insist upon the completion of the Mount Rushmore busts, which have been left unfinished for over a half a century. (Let’s see the Taliban try to destroy these busts).

I would hire an architect to install some corners in the Oval Office. I would fire Richard Cheney, and replace him with a lawn sprinkler. Actually, I don’t think it really matters what I replace Cheney with, just as long as I replace him.

I would take cooking lessons from the White House chef, and demonstrate my exquisite taste to foreign dignitaries. I would have a Taco Bell installed next to the Lincoln Bedroom. I would stay up late at night watching Conan, and fall asleep on the couch with a mouthful of pretzels.

Come to think of it, I probably wouldn’t make the best president. Then again, who would? Some of us were simply never cut out for the roll of President of the United States, and frankly, the current administration is going to be a tough act to follow.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

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