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Friday, February 23, 2007

Cheney Feeling the Heat

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Could vice president Richard Cheney soon find himself under increased legal scrutiny for his personal role in the Valerie Plame scandal? Experts say yes. Indeed, the heat is always highest closest to the flame and Mr. Cheney is already experiencing meltdown.

Cheney has never really demonstrated any palpable respect for his position as vice president, or for the laws of our government. His is about him and nothing else. The unlawful invasion of Iraq has proven to be a massive debacle for the Bush administration, costing tax payers billions in un-accounted for US dollars… much of which vanished while under the care of Cheney’s cronies and fellow war profiteers, Halliburton. Cheney has nothing to say about the missing dough. Perhaps he doesn’t actually think it’s missing. The vice president doesn’t have much to say about his spurious ‘Energy Task Force’ these days either. After all, a quick glance at the available task force documents tell a sad tale indeed. America has been taken for a ride.

The ‘outing’ of Valerie Plame was business as usual for this administration. Dick Cheney does not react favorably when his motives are questioned, a fact I can personally attest to. It is nothing new for him to set the dogs after anyone he believes may be interloping. Richard Cheney does not play nice, nor does he play fair. By all accounts, the man is simply not a straight shooter.

Still, the heat is on, and Mr. Cheney is starting to get a little crispy around the edges. Speaking from both sides of his mouth, he touts the British pullout from Iraq as a positive sign of improved conditions, while at the same time claiming a similar pullout by US troops would embolden the enemy, as though every angry Iraqi thinks with a singular mind. The man isn’t stupid… he is criminally dishonest. My guess is that a pullout of British troops will not adversely affect the bottom line at Kellogg Brown and Root, where-as any pullout of US troops would cut overall funding, and Halliburton’s ever so lucrative cash cow would cease to milk. Don’t kid yourself… Richard Cheney butters his bread with the blood of the fallen.

Still, like any heartless vampire, lonesome Dick cannot survive long under direct illumination, and as such he can be expected to do whatever he deems necessary to assure his activities are conducted among the shadows. Nonetheless, Dick Cheney is feeling the heat, a rather ironic twist for a man who has made a career out of scorching the ground beneath his feet.

Editors note:
Richard Cheney and members of his staff are regular readers of National Newswire, although it’s supposed to be a secret. As a consequence, I expect to be ‘outed’ for one thing or another before this administration packs it in. Actually, I’m flattered. One would think with the war and all, those fellows would have more important matters on their minds

Que Sera, Sera, I suppose.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Curse of War

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

When we are asked to support our troops in Iraq, I can’t help but wonder precisely which troops, and under what circumstance? Obviously not every US soldier serving in Iraq deserves my unwavering support.

As with any conflict of this nature, bad things can happen to good people, and sometimes good people do bad things. I don’t lack compassion for our young men and women who have been unjustly thrust into chaos, but I have equal compassion for the residents of Iraq who are suffering as a result of the occupation, which may I remind you, remains an international war crime.

We Americans love to believe we are the world’s police, welcome or not. Our arrogance has long overshadowed our sense of reason. Indeed, if the US is the world’s police, we entered Iraq without a search warrant, killing innocent people in the process.

Obviously, when German soldiers were slaughtering the Jews they were following orders.
They indubitably believed what they were doing was necessary, no matter how blatantly evil. I can’t imagine they thought much about the heinous nature of their crimes; after all, such would have amounted to treason.

Right about now, I predict many of my readers are understandably aghast at my comparisons. I don’t blame you. Here’s a suggestion: wake up and smell the coffee!

You see, I have o reason to believe every Nazi who participated in the holocaust was born to kill Jews. It was a deplorable idea, thrust upon them by desperate, deranged superiors. I don’t condone their actions by any means. What happened was wrong and that is precisely why I feel compelled to compare the holocaust to the invasion of Iraq. The Iraqi’s are not better off now than before the invasion. Quite to the contrary, Iraq is smack dab in the middle of it’s very own holocaust, one of our making.


Call it a civil war if you must. In fact, call it whatever you damn well please; a rose is a rose by any other name. I doubt very seriously Iraqi mothers who must bury their dead children every day, really feel inclined to debate semantics.

I am and will remain a patriotic American, but I’m not blinded by the misdirected rhetoric. I know better than to pretend every US soldier in Iraq is behaving heroically.

So where then should I draw the line? Should I support those who participated in the Haditha massacre? Should I support the soldiers who gunned down innocent lives, destroyed schools and hospitals, looted museums, tortured captives, raped and murdered children in front of their families?

If right now you are attempting to justify such conduct with some platitude, think again.
War is hell? Collateral damage? The spoils of war?

How about crimes against humanity?

Face it folks, good people are dying in Iraq. Some of them are Americans. Likewise, some very bad things have been done in Iraq and like it or not, some of it, by Americans.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Friday, February 16, 2007

Reality Bites: Justice Dogs Bounty Hunter

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Reality bites!

Just ask Duane “Dog” Chapman, television celebrity, and real life bounty hunter who is facing four years in a Mexican prison for deprivation of liberty. The charges stem from his June 2003 capture of convicted rapist Andrew Luster, the Max Factor heir, who was hiding out in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in an attempt to avoid incarceration. The sensational capture of Luster catapulted Chapman to stardom, leading to his very own television series.

Now it is Chapman who must stand trial after losing a court battle to prevent extradition to Mexico, where justice awaits the fifty-three years old reality star. Chapman’s attorneys claim their client is not likely to receive a fair trial in Mexico, a contention soundly rejected by a US federal judge hearing the case. Duane “Dog” Chapman and his son were arrested Sept. 14th, 2006 and were subsequently released on $300,000 bail.

Hasta la vista, “Dog” baby,
You’ve been collared.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Monday, February 12, 2007

Richard Cheney Strikes Out

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

There's an old saying that if one should throw a rock over a high fence into a yard full of dogs, one can safely asume the dog that yelps is the dog you struck with the rock.

I received a rather odd and blatantly inappropriate e-mail a few days back.
What makes the unsolicited correspondence newsworthy is the source of the e-mail, none other than that fowl mouthed, self serving war profiteer, vice president Richard Cheney.

I have repeatedly pressed the White House for a reasonable explanation, but none has been forthcoming. Therefore, I see no reason why I shouldn’t share the correspondence with my readers, as you certainly have a right to know how the vice president reacts when his behavior is subject to scrutiny.

My assistant and I were researching a lead for a possible article on Bohemian Grove, sight of an annual conclave attended by various power brokers, including George Bush and Richard Cheney, when suddenly, and without provocation, the following e-mail appeared in my box:

Since your so damn curious about our meetings, So here.

Inside Bohemian Grove

When Dirk Mathison, San Francisco bureau chief for People
magazine, infiltrated the exclusive Bohemian Grove retreat
this summer, he got a view into the U.S. elite that very
few reporters have glimpsed. Unfortunately, that elite
includes the management of Time Warner, the owner of
People, which prevented Mathison from telling his story.

Bohemian Grove, a secluded campground in California's
Sonoma County, is the site of an annual two-week
gathering of a highly select, all-male club, whose
members have included every Republican president since
Calvin Coolidge. Current participants include George
Bush, Henry Kissinger, James Baker and David Rockefeller
-- a virtual who's who of the most powerful men in
business and government.

Few journalists have gotten into the Grove and been
allowed to tell the tale (one exception is Philip Weiss,
whose November 1989 Spy piece provides the most detailed
inside account), and members maintain that the goings-on
there are not newsworthy events, merely private fun. In
fact, official business is conducted there: Policy
speeches are regularly made by members and guests, and
the club privately boasts that the Manhattan Project was
conceived on its grounds.

Thanks Dick, I’ll spread the word.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Friday, February 09, 2007

An Open Letter to president George W. Bush

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Mr. Bush,

With each passing day it becomes increasingly obvious your administration lied to the world about key evidence leading up to the invasion of Iraq. The invasion was in clear violation of US and international law, including the Geneva Accord, and has resulted in the destruction of Baghdad and the deaths of nearly a half a million Iraqis.

As president of the United States, you and you alone shoulder the ultimate responsibility
for crimes committed by members of your administration, including war crimes. Under your command, bombs were dropped on mosques and hospitals, civilians were murdered in cold blood while they slept, and innocent people were repeatedly tortured and beaten.

Saddam Hussein was hung by the neck for similar crimes, but in fact, the invasion has already resulted in a greater number of deaths. Why then should not yourself and other members of your administration face similar charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity?

Should you in fact find yourself charged with such crimes, will you voluntarily co-operate with the international criminal courts, or will you become a fugitive of justice? Furthermore, in the event that you are found guilty of these crimes, a very real possibility, will you accept the authority of the courts? And what if you are sentenced to death?

Do you really believe you are above the law? Do you really think you deserve to get away with what you have done?

I don’t.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Border Agents Crossed The Line

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

According to a newly released report on the shooting of a suspected drug smuggler near the US / Mexican border, US agents involved did not report the shooting, destroyed evidence and repeatedly lied to investigators about the incident.

The lengthy report offers few new details, primarily outlining what victim Osvaldo Aldrete-Davila claims occurred as he attempted to run from the agents after jumping from a van full of marijuana.

According to the report, Davila claims he was unarmed when he was shot by agents. Davila tried to surrender but ran when an agent attempted to hit him with the butt of a shotgun. Border agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean were fired, following their convictions for obstruction of justice and have been sentenced to more than a decade each in federal prison.

The report also states that other agents on the scene lied about being aware of the shooting. The former border agents reported to Federal prison in January.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Slander Becomes Us

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Previously Posted At:

Do you recall back in the day,
When every country station in the USA,
Spent the better part of every radio hour,
Deriding anyone and everyone with the good sense,
To appose a bad war?

Americans are truly a pathetic lot. Slander becomes us.
Quick to demonize others, we stubbornly resist accountability for our own transgressions.
When the Bush administration was selling its case for invading Iraq, most Americans never questioned the glaring inconsistencies, choosing instead to embrace nationalist jingoism, demonizing anyone and everyone who expressed opposition. At best, it was profoundly foolish. Unfortunately, it was also criminal.

The Bush administration never possessed compelling evidence about Saddam’s wmd capacity. In fact, international weapons inspectors repeatedly warned the Bush administration about their rush to judgment, only to get the bums rush themselves. Bush wasn’t interested in truth or accuracy. He wanted war and he got what he wanted.

Apparently, Bush and his cronies believed the larger the lynch mob, the more difficult it would be to hold anyone accountable down the road. Countries who refused to participate in the lynch mob found themselves ridiculed and marginalized. French Fries became Freedom Fries; the United Nations was characterized as corrupt and cowardly and much of Europe soon found themselves referred to by Bush cronies as “Old Europe”, out of touch and out of the loop.

Home grown dissenters fared no better. I’m sure you all remember what happened to the Dixie Chicks. Well, I’ve got news for you… The Dixie Chicks were right.

And so was John Kerry when he warned our young men and women about the perils of getting “stuck in Iraq”. Denial won’t make it less so. No matter how insulted you may have been by Kerry’s remarks, his words were sincere, and accurate. Face the facts; Iraq is no place for a good man to die.

How often have you heard the story about a judge who gives some kid a choice between going to jail or joining the army? The obvious implication being the judge in his infinite wisdom has determined the kid is unsuitable for society, but is somehow suitable for the armed services, where he’ll be given a loaded gun, and encouraged to embrace the consequences.

So go ahead, demonize John Kerry for telling the truth. Denial changes nothing. Iraq remains a quagmire and our soldiers continue to die. Oh, and be sure to trash the Dixie Chicks while your at it. After all, that’s what Americans do.

So go now, be offended. Failure in Iraq is not an option, it’s a fact. Victory is out of the question. The longer we stay, the worse the situation will become.

John Kerry’s only mistake was in backing down from his statement. I on the other hand, will do no such thing. In fact, I will wrap this up with a piece of advice:

Bring it on!

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Friday, February 02, 2007

Meet Richard Cheney - All Bull, No Horns

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor

Also Available At:

Meet Richard Cheney.
When it comes to dishonesty, Mr. Cheney wrote the book.

All truth be told, it’s more of an instructional manual really, aptly titled ‘The Art of Untruth, a Practitioners Guide to Deception’. The book contains a plethora of technique and advice, all gleaned from Mr. Cheney’s illustrious experience as the world’s pre-imminent teller of lies.

Chapter headings include ’When Honesty is Not the Best Policy’ ’Fear Mongering for Fast Results’, ‘Inaccuracies and Misdirection’, ‘Lies for Fun and Profit’ and includes a finely researched collection of some of Mr. Cheney’s more sensational quotes. Here’s just a sample of what goes on in the mind of this disingenuous buffoon, a man some refer to as the most powerful war profiteer in modern history.

"In Iraq, a ruthless dictator cultivated weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them. He gave support to terrorists, and had an established relationship with al Qaeda" - Nov. 7, 2003

"We know he's been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons, and we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." - March 16, 2003

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." - March 16, 2003

“The plan was criticized by some retired military officers embedded in TV studios. But with every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of that plan becomes more apparent.”

"I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." - on the Iraq insurgency, June 20, 2005

“The Iraqi forces are conducting the Mother of all Retreats“.

"Go f*ck yourself." - to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about war profiteering by Halliburton, June 25, 2004

“I’m the Vice President, and they’re not” - January 2007

There are many more disturbing quotes attributed to our heartless vice president. After all, Dick Cheney has been telling whoppers since long before I was born. Mr. Cheney doesn’t just bend the truth, he revels in his lies. He has in fact, elevated his dishonesty into an art form…The art of untruth.

Now before you go order a copy of the book from Amazon, I should probably come clean, something Mr. Cheney has never done. You see, other than the quotes, I made the whole thing up. There is no book. It was all one big lie.

Mr. Cheney would be proud of me.

B. Thomas Cooper is a freelance journalist and historian with a keen sense of satire. His writings are available online.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor