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Showing posts with label Nationalnewswire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nationalnewswire. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Angry Residents Demand Officers Badge Following Assault of Phoenix City Councilman

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Angry residents
of a Phoenix inner city neighborhood are urging Phoenix City Mayor Phil Gordon to fire a valley police officer, following a neighborhood fire that resulted in a city councilman being cuffed and assaulted by the officer.

The officer, Brian Authement, who is white, was responding to a house fire in a predominantly black neighborhood when the altercation occurred. Officer Authement, age 27, is accused of using excessive force, throwing Councilman Michael Johnson to the ground, as Johnson, who is black, attempted to check on the safety of his next door neighbor, whose house was ablaze.

Neighbors of the councilman are understandably outraged by the incident, and have demanded the officer be fired. Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris is also being called on to resign.

Councilman Johnson is himself, a former Phoenix police officer who retired in 1995 after twenty-one years on the force. Johnson did not attend a public forum held last night to discuss the incident, but intended to discuss the matter in detail early today at the Sandra Day O'Connor U.S. Courthouse.

Several prominent blacks in the valley have stepped forward to express their discontent with the manner in which the situation was handled and are demanding Authement lose his badge. Many residents of the neighborhood in which the incident occurred have complained about similar run-ins with responding officers. Several have testified under oath that they or their family members have been erroneously pulled over, questioned or arrested by because of the color of their skin.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Monday, March 01, 2010

Phoenix announces cutbacks to light rail service

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Only fourteen months after Phoenix Metro light-rail began rolling through the valley, City Manager David Cavazos is already taking dramatic steps to cut costs.

The cuts, which the Phoenix City Council will vote on Tuesday, could mean dramatic cutbacks during traditional rush-hour service. Trains currently run every ten minutes during peak rush hour traffic. Cutbacks in service could mean trains would come every twelve minutes, amounting to major inconvenience for some riders.

Light Rail
Valley Metro Light Rail facing cuts to service

The cutbacks would also effect weekend service, especially during the early morning hours and in the evening. City Manager David Cavazos says the cuts are necessary for the city to significantly trim operating costs, and the Phoenix City Council are likely to agree. However, efforts are being made by the council to preserve evening service.

Metro Light Rail operates twenty miles of track connecting the central Phoenix corridor with Cities of Tempe and Mesa. Tempe and Mesa have both experienced positive growth since the launch of the light rail, but many valley residents, and visitors alike, question the veracity of the some of the decision making. The 1.4 billion dollar rail system, which inexplicably by-passes Sky Harbor International Airport, has remained at the center of controversy, while racking up an alarming number of minor collisions with valley vehicles.

Still, supporters of the light rail are optimistic. Overall, service has been excellent and the light rail a success. Many see the cuts simply as a reflection of difficult economic conditions. The City of Phoenix is currently facing a $240 million deficit in its general fund, caused primarily by the downshift in the economy.

Hillary Foose, Public Information Officer for Metro acknowledged some changes would ultimately be necessary, but encouraged valley residents to participate in the process.
“Anytime you reduce service you impact rider-ship” stated Hillary, who was interviewed for this article. “We take this into account whenever making any changes.” Foose spoke at length about the actual process that goes into determining any changes, but reminds residents the process is open to public discussion.

“Metro currently has two meetings planned”, stated Foose when reached Monday morning. “The first meeting will be held Tuesday, March 2nd, and this is when we really need the input from the public. There are seven options posted on the Metro website, each listing the amount the option would save the budget”. Foose encourages anyone with an interest to visit the Phoenix Metro website and voice your opinion. The second meeting will be held some time next week.

Any changes would not take effect until July, 2010.



B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Kyl betting Hayworth wont challenge McCain for Senate seat

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor





United States Senator Jon Kyl is placing his bets on John McCain to keep his job another six years, no matter what radio jock J.D. Hayworth may say to the contrary.

Hayworth, a former six-term congressman from Arizona, is raising speculation among fellow Republicans of a possible bid for the U.S Senate seat, long held by John McCain. Hayworth currently hosts a conservative talk radio program broadcasting daily from KFWI radio in Phoenix.

John McCain, the 2008 Republican presidential hopeful, was first elected to the U.S. House of Representatives in 1982, before becoming a United States senator in 1986. McCain has held the seat since.

Speculation of a challenge heightened as a result of recent polls suggesting the two republicans are in a dead heat, McCain with 45 percent of respondents, and 43 percent polling for Hayworth.

Jon Kyl, a U.S. Senator from Arizona since 1994, has doubts however, as to whether Hayworth has the ability to mount the kind of challenge necessary to unseat the popular McCain, and predicts the radio host will ultimately choose not to run.

"I guess it's illegal to bet on the outcome of elections,” Kyl was quoted by the Arizona Republic. “but I'll just predict that John McCain will have another six years representing the people of the state of Arizona after the next election."


B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Trick or Treat? Off Duty Cop Pulls Gun in Haunted House

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor





An intoxicated off-duty Baltimore city police officer visiting a haunted house with his family has been charged with assault after pointing a loaded handgun at a costumed employee.

According to authorities, Sgt. Eric Janik, 36, pointed the handgun at Michael Morrison's chest, who was dressed as a character from the horror film ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre.’

The chainsaw Mr. Morrison's was wielding was only a prop, and did not have a working chain. Morrison dropped the chainsaw when he saw Janik was pointing a real gun. It has not been revealed why the apparently intoxicated Janik carried the concealed weapon into the haunted house in the first place.

Numerous witnesses at the ‘House Of Screams’ haunted house attraction reported Janik stinking of alcohol as he entered the attraction with family members. Officers on the scene also noted the off duty police officer seemed to be slurring his speech at the time of his arrest. Janik denies pointing the gun at Morrison, claiming he only pointed the weapon at the ground. Witnesses to the incident disagree.

Sgt. Janik, 36, has worked for the Baltimore city police department since 1995. He is currently suspended without pay, pending the outcome of a hearing set to be held on Thursday, October 29th.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Thursday, October 22, 2009

Meet Richard Cheney, All Bull, No Horns

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Meet Richard Cheney. When it comes to dishonesty, Mr. Cheney wrote the book. Truth be told, it’s more of an instructional manual really, aptly titled ‘The Art of Untruth, a Practitioners Guide to Deception’.

The former Vice Presidents book contains a plethora of technique and advice, all gleaned from Mr. Cheney’s illustrious experience as the world’s pre-imminent teller of lies.

Chapter headings include ’When Honesty is Not the Best Policy’ ’Fear Mongering for Fast Results’, ‘Inaccuracies and Misdirection’, ‘Lies for Fun and Profit’ and includes a finely researched collection of some of Mr. Cheney’s more sensational quotes. Here’s just a sample of what goes on in the mind of this disingenuous buffoon, a man some refer to as the most powerful war profiteer in modern history.

"In Iraq, a ruthless dictator cultivated weapons of mass destruction and the means to deliver them. He gave support to terrorists, and had an established relationship with al Qaeda" - Nov. 7, 2003

"We know he's been absolutely devoted to trying to acquire nuclear weapons, and we believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons." - March 16, 2003

"My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." - March 16, 2003

“The plan was criticized by some retired military officers embedded in TV studios. But with every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of that plan becomes more apparent.”

"I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." - on the Iraq insurgency, June 20, 2005

“The Iraqi forces are conducting the Mother of all Retreats“.

"Go f*ck yourself." - to Sen. Patrick Leahy, during an angry exchange on the Senate floor about war profiteering by Halliburton, June 25, 2004

“I’m the Vice President, and they’re not” - January 2007

There are many more disturbing quotes attributed to our heartless former vice president. After all, Dick Cheney has been telling whoppers since long before I was born. Mr. Cheney doesn’t just bend the truth, he revels in his lies. He has in fact, elevated his dishonesty into an art form…The art of untruth.

Now before you go order a copy of the book from Amazon, I should probably come clean, something Mr. Cheney has never done. You see, other than the quotes, I made this whole thing up. There is no book. It was all one big lie.

Mr. Cheney would be proud of me.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

CBS News Raises Doubts Over McNair Murder Investigation

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Nashville police have some explaining to do after seriously botching their investigation into the murder of former NFL quarterback Steve McNair.

The sudden death of McNair shocked the nation and saddened football fans around the world. The bullet-riddled body of the former NFL quarterback had been found slumped on a couch, with two bullets in his torso, and one in each side of his head. The body of his girlfriend, 20-year-old waitress Sahel Kazemi, was found face down on the floor nearby with a single bullet wound to her temple and the murder weapon by her side.

At the time, the evidence seemed to suggest a distraught Kazemi killed McNair with a handgun she purchased fully loaded in a mall parking lot shortly before the shooting. Nashville police concluded Kamemi then turned the gun on herself. However, according to an independent investigation conducted by CBS NEWS, the facts simply don’t add up.

New evidence uncovered by CBS investigators says Nashville police made critical errors in their conclusions. According to the police report, Kazemi purchased a "fully loaded 9 mm pistol at 5 p.m. on Thursday," in which she was "absent from work for about two hours, until 7 p.m."

In fact, according to employee attendance records obtained by CBS, the two-hour absence actually occurred the day before, contradicting the accepted timeline and casting doubt upon whether Kazemi could have ever actually purchased the handgun.

Kazemi, who was arrested for DUI shortly before the murders occurred, was reported to be distraught over her relationship with the NFL legend. However, close friends of Kazemi say the relationship was fine and the two were planning to move in together soon. Kazemi is seen in jail surveillance video looking anything but distraught. In one scene, she is even seen doing another inmates hair.

McNair, who quarterbacked in the NFL for 13 seasons, will be remembered as a class act and a true lover of the game of football.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Charles Barkley to Serve Time in Tent City Jail

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



Former NBA star Charles Barkley will soon find himself serving ten days at Tent City, a controversial outdoor jail facility located in downtown Phoenix, as a result of a DUI arrest on New Year’s Eve.

Sheriff Joe's Tents
Sign at Tent City

Barkley was arrested Dec. 31st, 2008 after Scottsdale Police observed his vehicle failing to stop at a stop sign. Sir Charles, as he is known by throngs of basketball fans, registered a blood-alcohol content of .149, nearly twice the legal limit of .08 in the state of Arizona. Barkley was sentenced to ten days, following a guilty plea by the former basketball star at a hearing on Monday.

Intensity in Tent City


The controversial facility, a makeshift jail in a Phoenix parking lot, has long been the subject of scrutiny, as has the man behind the idea, Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio. Arpaio claims he chose to house Barkley at the outdoor facility because he “didn't want to be accused of offering special privileges for celebrities“.

“I'm taking a lot of heat for putting convicted illegal immigrants in the tents. How am I going to discriminate and not put high-profile people in the tents?" quipped Arpaio.

According to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Department website, Tent City began in 1993, after Arpaio was able to acquire several surplus army tents. Rather than release inmates due to overcrowded conditions at the Maricopa County jail facility, Arpaio chose to house the inmates in a parking lot adjacent to the existing jail. The tents can often house as many as two thousand inmates.

For his part, Sir Charles has been contrite, apologizing for what he described as “unacceptable” conduct . Barkley, currently an analyst for TNT, is also expected to pay as much as two thousand dollars in fines. He is currently scheduled to begin serving his sentence on March 21st.



B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ancient Canals Discovered in Heart of Mesa

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Anthropologists, with the assistance of satellite imagery, have discovered the remains of a series of ancient canals, located just south of the Salt River, near the very heart of downtown Mesa, Arizona.

The existence of the canal system, built in the Salt River valley centuries ago by the Hohokam, has long been known, but the extent of this most recent discovery has caught some experts by surprise.

Jerry B. Howard, curator of anthropology at the Arizona Museum of Natural History is one of the experts involved in archaeological studies of the region being conducted before the city of Mesa can permit the area to be redeveloped. Planners had intended to build a massive water park on the property, but all bets are off as to whether that plan can still move forward.

Mesa Grande 001
Mesa Grande Pueblo Ruins

"Through satellite imagery, sometimes we can actually see the canals, kind of a signature of them," states Howard. "The soil in them is different than the other soil around them, more porous and moist.”

The area, larger in scope than previously anticipated, is currently home to a golf course and a hospital, the two of which are separated by not surprisingly, the Mesa Grande Pueblo ruins.

These ruins, located near the heart downtown Mesa, were once occupied by the Hohokam Indians, responsible for constructing massive canal systems, still providing water to the Valley of the Sun, hundreds of years after the Hohokam mysteriously vanished.

The Hohokam inhabited the northern Sonora desert region known as the ‘Phoenix Basin’ for centuries before the arrival of the European explorers. They constructed extensive canals and irrigation networks, rivaling those of Ancient Egypt and China. These industrious peoples cultivated a variety of crops, including tobacco, cotton, beans, squash, maize and agave.

Mesa Grande 002
Mesa Grande Pueblo Ruins

John Bartlett, Arizona pioneer, was one of the early explorers of the region to document the ruins at Mesa Grande, writing the following about his experience:

"(July 4, 1852) ...A ride of a mile brought us to the table-land, when we made for a large mound or heap which arose from the plain. In crossing the bottom we passed many irrigating canals; and along the base of the plateau was one from twenty to twenty-five feet wide, and from four to five feet deep, formed by cutting down the bank—a very easy mode of construction, and which produced a canal much more substantial than if carried across the bottom".

Mesa Grande Pueblo Ruins
Mesa Grande Pueblo Ruins

"On reaching the great pile, I found it to be the remains of an adobe edifice from two hundred to two hundred and twenty-five feet in length, by from sixty to eighty feet wide, its sides facing the cardinal points. Portions of the wall were visible in only two places, one near the summit, at the south end, where, from the height of the pile, it must have originally been three or four stories high; and the other at the northern extremity, on the western side...From the summit of the principle heap, which is elevated from twenty to twenty-five feet above the plain, there may be seen in all directions similar heaps; and about a mile to the east, I noticed a long range of them running north and south, which the Indians said were of similar character to that on which we stood."

Today, little of the Mesa Grande Pueblo remains. A fence has been erected around the perimeter of the ruins, and not much can be seen from the roadway. Few residents in the neighborhood are even aware of the ruin’s existence. A sad state of affairs for a culture responsible for so much innovation. Without the canals, the valley would have remained uninhabitable.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

George W. Bush, Piltdown Man of La Mancha

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



George W. Bush would like us to believe history will remember him as a hero, a man who stood by his convictions. Much like Don Quixote, however, Bush rose up against perceived evil only to find he was chasing the unobtainable.

In doing so, Bush the younger drew his sword and spilt the blood of thousands. His little game of shoot em up escalated into a full scale mash-up of Hell meets high-water. I don't care for the word "quagmire". The definition falls way short of describing how bad the situation in Iraq became. Of course, there is nothing civil about civil war.

In truth, I doubt George W. Bush has ever ventured near La Mancha. Had he done so, he would have soon learned it was not inhabited by dragons. Still, I digress.

Lets move on to the "Piltdown Man." The reference may seem somewhat left field for those not familiar with the story, so here's the set-up.

Until the Invasion of Iraq, Piltdown Man represented perhaps the most extraordinary hoax in modern history. As the story goes, a pair of archaeologists claimed to find a human skull in a gravel pit near the town of Piltdown, purported to be the five hundred thousand year old missing link between man and monkey. The skull was in fact constructed from parts of several different skulls, including the jaw of an orangutan. Varnish was then applied to give the finished product a look of consistency. Amazingly, it took the scientific establishment forty years to catch on.

Does this scenario sound at all familiar? Indeed it does!

George W. Bush wants us to believe that in forty years or so, history will recall his presidency as strong and steadfast. He sees himself riding off into the sunset mounted upon his trusty steed, the White Knight, the enemy of evil.

I, however don't see it happening that way. I suspect history will be far more accurate, and much less flattering. At best, George W. Bush will be regarded as the Don Quixote of presidents. Mission accomplished, the windmill is dead, Jim.

More likely, George W. Bush will be remembered as the reigning Piltdown Man, an unmitigated fraud that has pushed America back into the stone age.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Long, Hard Summer

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



Somewhere in the halls of Washington, the powers that be are feeling the heat. It’s only the second week of January, and already I sense, it’s going to be a long, hard summer.

Suffice to say we have begun the new year with a bang, and not a whimper. For what it’s worth, however, that bang we just collectively heard was not the sound of the US economy hitting rock bottom. Expect that sound to be deafening. I suspect what we might have just heard was, in fact, the sound of George W. Bush slamming the door on his way out. It would, after all, be the only noise we have heard from him in quite some time.

Perhaps, during these times of great hardship, the forty-third president of the United States finds it increasing difficult to face an ever skeptical public. Perhaps George W. Bush has grown weary of Washington, and the public perception of him as a hapless rodeo clown. After all, isn’t this the part of the story where Bush envisioned himself riding off into the Texas sunset?

But I will not pine for the glory days of George W. Bush and his companions. Certainly not whilst confronting the dog days of summer which surely lie before us. I cannot but fear, and I mean truly fear, for the future welfare of this once great nation of ours. The outlook is grim.

President Elect, Barack Obama, is facing an uphill battle, probably for many years to come. By the time he takes the oath of office in ten days, the nation will be three trillion dollars in debt, in most part, due to the irresponsible actions of his predecessor. He and the Democratic controlled Congress must act quickly to stem this current of financial bloodletting. Even then, we have no guarantees as to how this crisis will play out.

I suppose I risk comparisons to the fool who shouts fire in a crowded theater. Nonetheless, somewhere off in the distance, I smell smoke. Perhaps it remains too early to panic, but rest assured, it’s much too late to do nothing. The heat is on, America. Unfortunately, I’m afraid it is us, the average Joe and Jane, who will ultimately get burned.

Now might be a good time to catch up on some reading. The Grapes of Wrath, perhaps.


B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Thursday, January 08, 2009

Radical Cleric Orders Attacks Against US Troops

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




The relative calm, pervasive throughout much of Iraq in recent months, may soon come to an abrupt end. Moqtada al-Sadr, the powerful cleric and outspoken opponent of the US occupation of Iraq, has ordered attacks on US troops in reprisal for recent Israeli attacks on Gaza.

Al-Sadr has been vocal in his opposition to any continued presence of US troops in the region, and has launched two previous offensives targeting US soldiers and outposts. The influential cleric also apposed a security deal agreed upon and signed by the two countries last year.

This new edict from al-Sadr does not bode well for peace in Iraq any time in the near future. His followers are loyal and numerous, and have shown themselves to be fierce fighters.

"I ask the Iraqi resistance to engage in revenge operations against the United States, the biggest partner of the Zionist enemy," al-Sadr is quoted as saying, urging the Iraqi resistance to carry out “revenge operations” against US interests.

The cleric also urged the closing of all Israeli embassies in the region as an act of solidarity with the Palestinian people. So far, more than seven hundred Palestinians have died as a result of this most recent Israeli aggression against the people of Gaza.

Earlier Thursday, a chief spokesman for the United Nations announced the organization would suspend further activities in the Palestinian territory. The organization provides food and relief to nearly 80 percent of Gaza's population.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Cuba Allows Digital Access to Hemingway Documents

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



The Cuban Heritage Council has announced it will allow access to thousands of pages of documents once belonging to American novelist Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway wrote many of his greatest works while living on the island, which he called home for more than twenty years.

Ada Rosa Alfonso Rosales, director of the Museo Ernest Hemingway, located in Havana, answered questions about the documents. "We are talking about 3,194 pages of documents, close to 2,000 plus of documents, some already digitalised," Rosales stated. "For practically the first time, this is being made available to students and researchers," she added.

Hemingway spent much of his adult life in Cuba, where he lived with his wife on a fifteen acre estate called the `Finca Vigia` approximately fifteen miles from downtown Havana. There he wrote some of his most memorable novels, including the literary classic ‘The Old Man and the Sea”

The archive is purported to include coded messages Hemingway is believed to have sent while drunkenly pursuing German submarines operating just off the coast of Cuba. The collection also includes photographs, letters and manuscripts, as well as an unpublished epilogue to Hemingway's novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls.

An additional thousand or so documents have yet to be scanned and added to the archive, but will be made available upon completion. Academics and researchers can request electronic copies of the rare documents from Cuba's Heritage Council.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye Mr. Bush, and Good Riddance!

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



The day has finally arrived!

Our last New Years Eve with George W. Bush, warmonger and prince of fools. May he choke on a pretzel on his way out the door.


Bush will be remembered for many things. Nothing good, mind you. This is a president who has driven the country right into the ground. And it won't just be George W. Bush they'll be pointing the finger at. History won’t have anything positive to say about those who defended this intellectual abomination, either. It is neither noble, nor patriotic to guard the door whilst the fox raids the hen-house.

Oh, we will indeed remember George W. Bush. No question about it. How can we ever forget? He was a many of many words, most of which, like everything he touched, he butchered…

"America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points." George W. Bush, aboard his campaign plane, Sept. 18, 2000

"We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." George W. Bush, Houston, Texas, Sept. 6, 2000

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." George W. Bush on abortion, MSNBC's "Hardball," May 31, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" George W. Bush, Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them." George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

"If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!" George W. Bush, Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000

"I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul." George W. Bush, as quoted in Vanity Fair, October 2000


Bush Caricature 1b
Days Remaining in Office: 21

"Never again in the halls of Washington, D.C., do I want to have to make explanations that I can't explain." George W. Bush, Portland, Oregon, Oct. 31, 2000

"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work." George W. Bush, Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000


No doubt. History will not soon forget George W. Bush.


B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Monday, December 29, 2008

Barack the Magic Negro?

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor





You must be kidding me? This story is offensive on so many levels. How could a high ranking Republican with aspirations within the party possibly arrive at such an abominable conclusion?


Let me bring you up to speed. Chip Saltsman, candidate for Republican National Committee Chairman, has chosen to distribute a satirical CD containing racist material about Barack Obama as a Christmas gift. Not one copy, mind you, sent to a friend, but a rather substantial number of copies, sent to a number of prominent Republicans.

The offending CD is titled: ‘We Hate America, and is obviously the product of an amateur. His name is Paul Shanklin and he is neither clever nor funny on this collection of politically incorrect ditties. This is the kind of trash one might find offered up at a trailer park yard sale for a nickle.

Here’s a quote from the lyrics of the song in question:

“Yeah, the guy from the L.A. paper said,
He made guilty whites feel good,
They’ll vote for him and not for me,
‘Cause he’s not from the hood”


Watch out, Slim Shady. This guy is after your job.

This sort of thing only qualifies as satire in an academic sense. Satire, Spirit and Art, by George A. Test describes Satire in the following manner:

"The emotions that are thought to give rise to satire are generally acknowledged to be the least admirable human emotions-anger, malice, hatred, indignation. The emotions that satire are said to evoke are likewise emotions that make most people uncomfortable- shame, anger, guilt, anxiety. The view of humanity in satire is a negative one- tumultuous, crowded, aggressive, cynical, pessimistic."

Obviously, Shanklin is within his Constitutional rights on this issue, and if he and Mr. Saltsman want to distribute this vile nonsense, it is certainly their prerogative. Still, I am surprised the Republican hopeful would find this CD a useful tool for rehabilitating the GOPs already heavily damaged image. Who knows? Maybe Mr. Saltsman actually finds this stuff funny. How sad.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Sunday, December 28, 2008

Phoenix Launches Light-Rail Service

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



After four years of construction, the city of Phoenix has finally begun operation of it’s long anticipated Light Rail service, connecting the central phoenix corridor and the east valley.

Contrary to reports, however, all did not go quite as planned. Although trains were scheduled to arrive at each station every four to six minutes, some folks waited hours in line, as trains already packed with riders arrived every twenty-five minutes or so. Still, the weather was pleasant, and the throngs who came out for the days festivities left satisfied.

Light Rail
Phoenix Metro Light-Rail Train

For residents of the valley, this day has been long in coming. Construction of the project began back in 2004, and as is nearly always the case with projects of this magnitude, an array of problems, most notably with the track, delayed the launch date.

Phoenix mayor Phil Gordon certainly appeared pleased, and with good reason. Gordon, a light-rail advocate, was seeing his vision come to life. The mayor spent his morning riding the new trains and exuberantly shaking hands with riders.

The sleek new trains are quiet and energy efficient, providing a viable alternative for some valley commuters. Not all residents, however, will reap the potential benefits, as service is currently limited to approximately twenty miles of track. The service should have some impact on downtown traffic and airport congestion, but won’t do much to relieve the untenable snarl of vehicles suffocating the surrounding suburbs.

Still, most everyone on hand was optimistic about the new service. Although this high tech new Metro Light-Rail system cannot be the solution to all of the valleys transportation woes, there is little doubt most residents minds. At least the city of Phoenix is finally on the right track.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Iconic Little Red Wagon Going High Tech

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




This is not your typical little red wagon. Radio Flyer, maker of the iconic red wagon coveted by boys and girls alike since 1917, has announced it will soon introduce a new, high tech model wagon for the next generation.

This new wagon, called the ‘Cloud Nine’ comes complete with five-point safety harnesses, cup holders, and padded seats. And if that’s not enough, this nifty little wagon even comes with an optional MP3 player.

It doesn’t stop there. The ‘Cloud Nine’ comes with foot breaks, fold out storage containers, and a digital handle that tracks the current temperature, time, distance and traveling speed. No kidding!

Although the Chicago based company is best known for its ever popular red wagon, Radio Flyer manufactures an array of innovative outdoor childrens products, including tricycles and bicycles.

"We approached this product much like an automotive company might with a concept car," states Mark Johnson, product development manager for Radio Flyer. Tom Schlegel, vice president of product development concurs. "We sit down and observe how moms and kids are using our products," adds Schlegel. "That's where our new ideas come from." "This year has been a difficult year for a lot of companies," Schlegel says, "But Radio Flyer is actually growing. We're actually looking for engineers and designers in our product development group to keep up with the growth of the company."

Not to worry however. Radio Flyer has no intention of ending production of it’s model #18 Classic Red Wagon ant time soon. Products this reliable just don’t roll by every day. As for the high tech new ‘Cloud Nine’ wagon, only time will tell if this new model will fly as high as its lofty predecessor, or will ultimately prove to be just flightless, Red Herring.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Franken Confident of Senate Victory as Final Ballots Counted

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



Things are looking up for former comedian and Saturday Night Live cast member Al Franken. The Senate candidate currently holds a small lead over his rival, incumbent Minnesota Senator, Norm Coleman.

Franken was all smiles Tuesday morning, having claimed the lead over the incumbent by a margin of no greater than fifty votes, out of nearly three million cast during the November election. The counting continues, as both camps haggle over a handful of crucial ballots. Still a confident Franken camp posted the following message on his web site this morning: "We are more confident than ever that Al Franken will be the winner of this election,".

A decision could come at any minute. According to Bloomberg.com, the state canvassing board intends to complete counting votes some time today. The outcome may ultimately come down to a hundred votes the Coleman camp claims may have been double counted. Should the canvassing board decide to throw out those votes, this election could come down to less than a half a dozen votes or so.

Franken has reason to be confident going into the stretch, but a month and a half after voters spoke at the polls, it is still too early for victory celebrations. The Associated Press suggests the race won't likely be decided before the new Congress is sworn in January 6th.

Norm Coleman, Republican, has served in the US Senate since 2003. This is Al Franken's first attempt at national politics. Franken appeared on Saturday Night Live during the eighties, and has written a number of books, including ‘Lies: And the Lying Liars who Tell Them, ‘The Truth (with Jokes) and ‘Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot. Franken is a Democrat.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Monday, December 22, 2008

New Poll Suggests Cheney Among Worst of the Worst

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




A newly released national poll suggests nearly a quarter of all Americans surveyed believe Richard Cheney is among the worst Vice Presidents in US history.

Of those who responded, an additional 41 percent rated the Vice Presidents job performance as ‘poor’. On the flip side, only one percent believe Cheney to be the best veep in US history, and little time remains until Cheney’s term expires on the 20th of next month.

Few were surprised by the polls conclusions. The Vice President has been at the center of numerous scandals, ranging in scope from the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, to shooting a hunting buddy with a shotgun. Questions began as far back as March of 2001, when details about the Cheney Energy Task Force Documents became public. Cheney has faced a steady stream of controversy ever since.

If the Vice President is at all concerned by these new numbers, he certainly doesn’t show it. "I'm very comfortable with where we are and what we achieved substantively. And frankly, I would not want to be one of those guys who spends all his time reading the polls. I think people like that shouldn't serve in these jobs," Cheney stated during an interview on "Fox News Sunday."

Cheney has been making the rounds recently in an attempt to rehabilitate his legacy and that of George W. Bush and other members of the current administration. Cheney joins Dan Quayle and Spiro Agnew among the list of least popular Vice Presidents. The poll was conducted by the CNN/Opinion Research Corporation, Friday through Sunday of this past week.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Shoe Sales Skyrocket Following Assault On President

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



The answer: Model 271 Brogues, shoes for men. The question: What is the hot must-have item throughout Arab countries this holiday season?

According to reports, orders for the shoes have skyrocketed since Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi removed his from his feet during a recent press conference, and proceeded to hurl them at US president George W. Bush, along with a few choice epithets.

Al-Zaidi has paid dearly for his actions, suffering a broken tooth and apparent cigarette burns, caused by Iraqi authorities following his arrest. He has a court hearing scheduled for later this month. In the meantime, al-Zaidi cools his heels in an Iraqi jail.

For the maker of the shoes, however, the incident has led to a windfall in sales. Ramazan Baydan, Istanbul shoemaker has had to hire a hundred additional employees to meet market demand, with over 300,000 pair ordered in just under a week. Over 100,000 pair have been ordered in Iraq alone, and upstart shoe distribution companies have been opening throughout the region to help meet buyer demand.

Hurling shoes has long been considered an insult in Arab culture. President Bush was light on his toes however, and managed to dodge the incoming projectiles. The assailant, al-Zaidi was quickly dragged to the floor by security, but was able to unleash yet another traditional Arab insult before being hustled away. “A farewell kiss to a dog” he was heard to exclaim. Indeed, there are still many in Iraq who perceive George W. Bush, not as a liberator, but as an unwelcome invader. George Bush will end his term as the 43rd president of the United States on January 20th, 2009. He will be replaced by incoming president, Barack Obama, who will be sworn in the same day.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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Sunday, December 21, 2008

Warner Music Pulls Plug, Drains YouTube Talent Pool

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor




Negotiations between Warner Music Group and YouTube have hit a snag, sinking what once appeared to be a lucrative agreement for both parties.

Warner Music Group has announced it will no longer allow its artists to be featured on the video site, and ordered YouTube to immediately begin pulling videos, a move that will undoubtedly send ripples throughout the industry. Warner (WMG) controls the licensing for many of the music industries most successful acts, including mainstays, Madonna and Metallica, as well as more recent acts like My Chemical Romance. WMG was also the first major label to pursue an agreement with the internet upstart, which in 2006, led to Googles acquisition of YouTube for a staggering $1.65 billion dollars.

Unfortunately, the entire enterprise straddles on the precipice of becoming just another unsuccessful partnership. Although pay per click profits amount to less than a penny per click, it was believed the shear magnitude of hits would generate huge sums of capital for all parties. Apparently, however, such has not been the case, as WMG reports returns have fallen far short of projections.

The failure of this agreement does not bode well for either party. Although both are expected to survive the rough seas ahead, the future remains uncertain. YouTube is the most popular video site on the web, and prospects are good. Warner, however, stands to lose millions in lost revenue and will be facing increasing difficulty as consumer trends change. What seemed like a marriage made in heaven only two years ago, may have been a harbinger of struggles to come, as the entertainment industry adjusts to a rapidly changing market.

B. Thomas Cooper - Editor



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